I sat glued to a screen, dreaming of a beautifully styled home, looking at the photos of my friend sharing images with his partner and daughter as they enjoy a delicious dinner together, reading another friends’ gushing over how blessed she is to have her partner who showers her with flowers regularly, and seeing images and appreciation from someone else about how the love they have with their husband is overflowing and their life is filled with plans of travel.
It ate at me, and longing for all these things that I craved – a husband who just loved me abundantly, a tidy house, time away with my family – made me fee so worthless, unloved and depression took hold.
You are provided with a snippet into a moment of someones’ life in images however, the truth’s behind those pictures may be so far from what you’re imagining. You’re seeing multitasking parents that are strong, determined, driven, and focused.
They have it all, and they have it all together, but why can’t you even get out of the house with a clean shirt on? And when was the last time you had your hair cut, and wore makeup? If Jessica can do it with her brand new baby, why can’t you? And while you’re looking at Jessica’s life, her house is spot.less. No mess, no washing to be folded on the table, no dishes to be washed on the bench.
It’s filling our social media feeds; images of friends going on trips away, going places as a family, going on a date, a nicely dressed home, a sculpted yard, partners sharing images of love and admiration for one another.
You may not even realise the influence and impact that this is having on your mindset until your bank account is negative, you speak down of yourself and your happiness feels like it’s been stolen from you.
The harsh truths: Your friend lives with her mum and husband – both of which are there to support her because her “perfect life” is heavily tainted by anxiety. That mum doing craft everyday doesn’t have to work, and you do. Your friend with his daughter and partner? He’s having several affairs, feeding his insecurities of not being good enough. Your friend gets flowers when her boyfriend treats her like shit, and by sharing online, it gives her a false sense of happiness when she is reminded “how lucky she is to have him”. That home was styled for that photo, too….
Real life is so far different from what you are seeing that it’s not even worth the comparison. You see?
Don’t allow the falsehood of imagery fool you into thinking that their life is perfect, and mine isn’t.
“Every single time you set up a comparison between yourself and someone else, you lose, no one wins.”
― Clinton Kelly
Anxiety is on the rise in homes, and our dreams of living with a village surrounding us are becoming less and less.
Our parents are turning to their phones in the middle of the night when they’re up with their babes, lives are being lived vicariously through screens.
Kids are on social media from the moment they realise they can set up an email address.
It is becoming so commonly overlooked when it comes to finding the root cause of unhappiness, discontent and uncertainty – comparison.
When you look around you, life really is beautiful, it is filled with love, and you are worth every single opportunity for happiness.
If you need to compare yourself to who or what you surround yourself with, should you be surrounded by it?
You are enough.