MINDFUL LIVING || Forgiveness frees the mind

Recently I met *Jane. She reminded me of someone I once knew. Someone in my past that I am glad to have met, known, and now, released.

Jane, well, she is worried. She looks tired every single day. She is overzealous, unsure, and living in the shadow of her fears, and toxicity.

I know these anxieties all too well and it shows me where I am in my self-healing journey.


Going back a few years now, an incident occurred within our family. Something incredibly minor, but it created a whole new dynamic. One that put me on this path towards self respect, self worth and self love. That’s a whole lot of self.

I remember sitting one afternoon reading a magazine article about forgiveness. It spoke straight to my heart. My head was in sync.

The story told of how we aren’t tuned to “forget” the hurt caused to us by another being, instead that these are the life lessons that build our characters continually. It’s how we process these hurts that shape us.

We learn to forgive the people who hurt us, because if we don’t, we harbour anger, mistrust and bitterness until the turn of time. These are the attributes that bring us undone.

I forgive you because you don’t deserve to waste my happy.

In that moment, I chose to forgive the people that were making us feel cast aside.

I sat and prayed. I prayed, I meditated, I cried, I begged my soul to understand that the way I was feeling needed to be released because it was wasting my happiness; taking up positive space with negativity. I allowed my thoughts and emotions to be processed without questioning any of them.

I needed to let it go.

My shoulders relaxed, my head started to clear instantly.

This_Real_Mama_CoverArtI knew that by forgiving someone else for their wrongdoings, didn’t make me a pushover. I also didn’t mean that just because I forgive them for their actions that I then wanted, needed or had to allow them a place in my life.

I don’t need that level of negativity or disrespect tormenting my spirit.

Through forgiveness comes strength. Your self confidence increases because you learn to handle situations differently. You feel more at peace in your mind. It’s easy to let things go, and not have them create havoc with your soul.

It’s easier to smile.

The small things don’t matter like they used to. The small negatives are easy to dismiss because the small positives overrun your thoughts instead.

I deserve to be happy.

By forgiving someone else who may have hurt me when they are in a toxic place is the smallest thing I can do for my own wellbeing.

You’re worth so much more than succumbing to negative circumstance.



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  1. Thanks for posting this. Forgiveness is the solution to many of life’s problems. Whether it is towards yourself or others. I think it does a lot in helping to define us as people. We need to move beyond anger and sadness in a constructive way otherwise it will eat away at us.

    1. Absolutely. You nailed it. People are quick to hold onto the negativity and use it in destructive ways such as seeking continual recognition of having been hurt. It becomes a “poor me” contest.

      1. Exactly. Worryingly it’s an easy trap to fall into. Paranoia can be a persuasive voice sometimes. Yet with time and the right treatment, it becomes easier to push those kind of voices into the background. I like to think of it as a radio on a very low volume on a summers day. It’s audible, but it’s so quiet that you barely register it, and acknowledge the beauty around you instead.

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